Hey guys, not too much has changed on my body paragraph since yesterday. Still the same outline, but I just made it sound better and made sure my commentary worked with our thesis. For the most part it's the same basic ideas I showed you on Friday, but I just made it sound smoother and transition better.
I think that we might have used the same transitions within our body paragraphs, so we should go over that Monday. Is there anything you remember from yesterday that needed to be changed in my paragraph? I have new vocab and sentence structure, but I want to make sure I'm not missing anything.
I liked your paragraph alot. From what I remember, I didn't really see anything that drastically needed to be fixed, but I'm glad you found some things to change. I had trouble with transitions too, we should fix all of our problems on Monday.
ReplyDeleteYes I agree. Once we fixed our topic senteces everything began to flow better. Lets make sure that the word mature does not come up very much, we dont want to be repetitive. Great job Livs! if we do need more help discussing the transisions we can email.
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